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Sex: What’s the Big Deal?

You’ve thought about your own views on sex and you’ve talked to your partner or partners about where they stand. You think you’re ready to give sex a try.

So now what?  How can you make the most of it?

Here are a few tips.

Practice makes perfect

  • If you are planning to try vaginal* or anal penetration, try inserting your fingers or other safe things into your anus or vagina first.  For more information on safety, check out our page on Sex Toys [Link].
  • Penetration may be uncomfortable at first, but it should never be painful for long periods of time. Take your time and pace yourself.
  • If you are planning to use condoms, dental dams or latex gloves, try them out on your own first so that you have some practice using them and can make sure they are the right size.
Useful Tip
If you are having sex for the first time, you and your partner may not have an orgasm, or you may experience orgasm differently. This may change as you figure out what works for you both. Orgasm is just one of the many pleasures sex has to offer.

First time basics for people with vaginas

  • Masturbating on your own is a great way to get to know your body and what makes you feel good. You can check out your nipples, your inner and outer labia, your clitoris, your perineum (the area between the vagina and the anus), your vagina, and/or your anus. (For more on these body parts check out the Puberty Section of this website [Link]. For more on how to masturbate check out Masturbation [Link].)
  • Never insert anything into your vagina that has already been in your anus as this can spread germs.
  • After your first time having vaginal intercourse, you may or may not notice a bit of bleeding or spotting in your underwear. For more on this check out Vaginal Sex [Link].

First time basics for people with penises

  • Masturbating on your own is a great way to get to know your body and what makes you feel good. You can check out your shaft, the head of your penis* and foreskin, your testicles, your perineum (the area between the penis and the anus), your anus, your prostate gland, and/or your nipples. (For more on these body parts check out the Puberty Section of this website [Link]. For more on how to masturbate check out Masturbation [Link].)
  • If you find yourself losing your erection, try not to worry. It happens all the time. Arousal can come in waves so relax and try doing different things. For more on erections, see our info page [Link].

For more on planning for your first time see Am I Ready For Sex? [Link]


*We know that these aren’t the words everyone uses for their bodies (eg. trans folks), and support you using the language that feels best for you.