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Title image for article on foreplay.

Foreplay Part 2: It’s Foreplay, not Choreplay!

Foreplay can be a really big and confusing topic for people. In Foreplay Part 1: What is Foreplay? [Link] we talked about expanding our definition of foreplay, and shared some ideas and tips on how important communication with your partner(s) is for having the kind of foreplay that works for you.

In this post we’re going to share some more specific suggestions of what to consider when trying to improve or engage in foreplay. But before that, here are some general things to keep in mind:

How much time should it take?

Before a run, you would first warm up your body by stretching — sex is not much different! And some people may need longer to warm up than others. But unlike going for a run, foreplay/sex is not a race! Feel free to slow down and take your time. Even though movies and porn make it seem like sex can happen right away, it usually takes people a little bit of time to really get in the mood. Penetrative activities can definitely take more than 30 seconds to prepare for. Give yourself and your partner a gift by being present and being yourself. This can help keep you in the moment when you (or your partner) starts feeling more intimate and pleasurable sensations.

Useful Tip
It should be said, though, that not everybody always has time for long, extended foreplay sessions. Keep in mind which activities require more foreplay and which ones do not (i.e., does penetrative sex take more foreplay than oral or masturbation? do both partners want/need to orgasm?). This can help make it easier for partners to decide what you want to do if you only have 15 minutes to fool around, or what you’ll have to set aside an evening for.

Getting in the Mood

Getting in the mood is often both a physical and mental process for people. Not everybody is interested or ready for sex (any kind of sex) just because someone’s partner runs into a room and is like “Hey! Let’s have sex!” And so sometimes it takes specific activities to get people horny. There are no rules to which of these activities do or do not count as foreplay; whatever gets you in the mood is foreplay for you! So what kinds of things can people do to get in the mood? What activities or behaviours are good foreplay? These are good questions to ask yourself and your partners, but here are some ideas:

Getting Comfortable

Touching and More

Other Things to Think About

Again, these are just some suggestions! Foreplay is a huge topic, which we’ll cover more in future blog posts. For more info on how to make your sex life sexier, check out some of our info pages:

If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]

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