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Moving on After a Break Up

Have you noticed that there are a lot of songs written about breaking up?  That’s because it happens all the time.  Almost everyone goes through one or many break ups.

Breaking up can be hard for everyone involved and each person will handle it differently. You might feel sad, angry, relieved, lonely or experience other strong emotions. It’s normal to feel any of these feelings or to feel a mix of emotions.

Thankfully, there are ways to make a break up easier on all parties involved.  This page provides a few tips about how to cope after a break up. If you need more support, talk to your health care provider or call Planned Parenthood Toronto’s Health Services.

Take your time

Don’t feel like you have to find a new partner right away. You may want to focus on yourself or school, friends and family. Some people wait a while, others don’t. You can decide what is right for you.

Talk it out

You may want to find a friend, family member, counselor or anyone else you trust to talk to about how you’re feeling. It may take a while before you are able to talk about how you feel, but opening up can be helpful for some people after a break up. You can decide what is right for you. If you need to talk to someone, contact Teen Health Source for a referral.

Write it out

Some teens find it helps to write their feelings in a journal or diary. That way you can talk about how you feel without worrying that you may be judged by others. If privacy is important, remember to keep your journal or diary in a safe place or if it is on your computer, password protect it.

Change things up

Find something else to do or a new interest so you are not always thinking about the break up. Volunteer for a cause you care about, start a new hobby, explore a new part of the city, find a job or focus on your studies.

Take care of yourself

Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good. Get a hair cut, spend time with friends, go to a movie or out for dinner. You deserve to feel good.

I want to stay friends with my ex. Is this possible?

Things may be a bit awkward for awhile, but in many cases people who used to be together can become friends after they break up. Here are a few suggestions:

  • When you break up, take the time to tell the other person you still want to be friends.  Tell them you mean it.
  • You may want to hang out with them only when you are in a group for awhile.
  • If you were the one to initiate the break up, you may need to give them time to recover.
  • Don’t gossip about what happened.

Useful tip:

  • It’s important to remember that some people may not want to be friends with their ex, and it won’t work if only one person is interested in having a friendship.