Sexual Pleasure: Before You Get Started

When you start thinking about sexual pleasure, it’s helpful to start thinking about what sexual pleasure is to you. This is pretty subjective, as definitions of sex might vary depending on who you ask. For some, it can mean having sexy conversations through text (virtual sex or ‘sexting’) while for others it’s physical connection involving genitals like vaginal or anal sex. Regardless of what it means to you, it’s important that the sexual pleasure you’re experiencing feels safe, consensual, and comfortable. Check out our factsheet here: What is Sex? for more info about what ways we can define sex. 

There’s also no guarantee that the sort of pleasure you’re ready for is going to be the same for other people you want to experience that pleasure with, or even other people your age. Some people might have a lot of strong feelings about their virginity, for example, because of their belief system or personal comfort level (we talk more about that here: Virginity). There are a lot of questions we can ask ourselves to help figure out our own readiness from what our boundaries and how to talk about them with our partners, to what type of sexual exploration we find most exciting. Check out our info page here: Am I Ready for Sex? to learn more about what those conversations can look like.