Making Safer Sex Sexy

Safer sex can be really sexy. Although you can never completely get rid of all risks, by playing safe, you reduce your risk of getting an STI or having an unplanned pregnancy. Having safer sex will make it easier to enjoy all the pleasures that sex has to offer.

This page provides some suggestions on how to have fun with safer sex.

Plan ahead

Are you worried your safer sex plans will fly out of the window when things get hot and heavy?  In that case, have your safer sex tools such as condoms, dams, lube and gloves ready and close at hand where you often have sex, or in your purse or backpack. If you are planning to use other forms of birth control, make sure that you know how to use them correctly and how long it takes for them to start being effective. (For more information on birth control options, see the Birth Control Section of this website.)

Experiment

• Condoms, lubes, dams and gloves come in all different textures, flavors, and types. Try a few different ones to see what you like!
• Shopping (at a store or online) with your partner for safer sex tools can make trying new kinds a fun part of experimenting together.
• Talk about all the fun things you’d like to try while using your new tools.
• Sex shops sell a wider variety of safer sex tools than pharmacies or sexual health clinics.

Practice

• Get to know your safer sex tools. You will enjoy using them more and they’ll be easier to use when you need them.
• Practice putting an external (male) condom on yourself (or a dildo or banana) when you are on your own. You can practice even if you don’t have a penis. This may help later if you are nervous or in the dark. For more on how to put on an external condom, see How to Put on an External Condom.
• Practice putting an internal (female) condom inside yourself. For more information on how to put an internal condom in, see The Internal (Female) Condom.
• If you have a penis, masturbating with a condom on can help you learn to associate pleasure and orgasm with a condom.

Have fun

• Make gloves, dams, and condoms part of your sex play.
• Talk sexy while you’re putting on a condom, dam, or glove.
• Go slowly and tease the other person by making them wait a bit.
• Experiment with latex clothing or role playing.
• Put a condom on your partner with your hands or mouth. (Be careful not to tear the condom with your teeth when using your mouth).

Make lube your BFF

• Lube helps condoms, gloves, and dams feel more natural and helps prevent them from breaking.
• Put a drop of lube into the tip of an external condom before putting it on the penis. You can also add lube to the outside of an external condom, whether you are using it on a penis or toy.
• Put lube on the outside of the internal condom before putting it inside the vagina. Add lube to the inside of the condom for your partner’s pleasure.
• Add lube to the vulva/vagina or anus (butthole) before penetration.
• Add lube to the vulva/vagina or anus (butthole) before laying down a dental dam.

Talk about it

• Planning ahead shows you care about your partner’s health. Respect is a definite turn-on.

Take responsibility

• Take responsibility of your own sexual health. Don’t wait for your partner to tell you that they have an STI or expect them to use birth control.

If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]

Last Edited: May 2020