An Introduction to Sexual Fantasies (+ Infographics!)

By Teen Health Source

This week we’re seeing double! If you scroll down you’ll see an infographic that gives a basic overview of Sexual Fantasies. Feel free to download the images and share them to your socials! And if you’re not a fan of infographics, that’s okay. We’ve got full text from the images in the text below. 

What are sexual fantasies?

A sexual fantasy is a mental image or thought that can be connected to sex or sexual arousal.

Who can experience sexual fantasies?

Everybody can have sexual fantasies.

Is it normal to not have sexual fantasies?

Yes! There are lots of people who do not have sexual fantasies. Everyone has different experiences and thoughts.

What form do they come in?

Fantasies can be a lot of different things: specific scenarios, about one person, about an activity, etc. Even memories of past sexual situations, or scenes from books or movies can be part of fantasies. It’s whatever turns people on.

When do we experience sexual fantasies?

Sexual fantasies can happen when you’re awake (daydreaming), or even in your dreams while you sleep. They can happen when you’re trying to focus on something like school, or just occur while you’re chilling at home or outside.

Why do we get sexual fantasies?

Some people have sexual fantasies:

• As a temporary escape from reality.
• For an outlet to express and explore taboo desires.
• To plan out or rehearse a future sexual encounter.
• For relaxation, and/or to cope with anxiety.

Other reasons beyond these are also totally valid!

What do fantasies mean?

Sexual fantasies mean different things to different people. Most times, it is just to arouse desire and erotic satisfaction. Some questions to ask yourself when trying to better understand what your fantasies mean could include:

• Is the fantasy filling a gap in your sex life?
• Do you want to do the things in your fantasies?
• Are the fantasies addressing a taboo?
• Are the fantasies related to a fixation you have?

This is just a base. Fantasies really are just thoughts and don’t become more unless you react to them, either by trying to make them happen or taking other steps to better understand where they’re coming from.

Is it bad to fantasize about someone else if you’re in a relationship?

While it can be confusing, fantasizing about someone else while you’re in a relationship it totally normal. You can’t always control the thoughts that pop into your head, or decide easily what turns you on. The difference is if your fantasies start impacting your relationship through your actions.

How often do people fantasize about sexual desires?

Some people might fantasize often, others may fantasize occasionally, and some people never do. There is no normal that people should or should not be fantasizing.

How do you stop unwanted sexual fantasies?

It can be hard to control when you have unwanted sexual fantasies. Some techniques for trying to stop intrusive thoughts could include:

1. Remember that thoughts are just thoughts. They’re not a reflection of you as a person, or of what you want to do with partners. It’s also hard to be in charge of thoughts. Sometimes they happen randomly or because of outside influences beyond your control.
2. Sometimes you give thoughts more power by getting worked up over them. Try to acknowledge the fantasy when it pops up, then maybe pause and take some deep breaths, and gently turn your attention back to something else. The more you do this, the easier it gets to move on from thoughts
3. Try doing another activity that requires more of your focus so your mind can’t wander as much to the thought. This could include hanging out with friends, writing out your favourite song lyrics, or even cooking.

These are just some suggestions. If you find that the thoughts are too much to handle, you can consider talking about them with a friend, a partner, a trusted adult, or even a therapist.

If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]

Last Updated: May 2022