Click to talk to a trained teen volunteer.

The left is green text that reads "FAQ: Are you supposed to have a "tight vagina" when you have sex? on the right is a green icon of a vaginal opening. The background is white.

FAQ: Are you supposed to have a “tight vagina” when you have sex?

FAQ: Is it true that having “too much” penetrative sex can “loosen” your vagina? Are you supposed to be “tight” when you are having sex?

It is a common misconception in society that having sex with “too many” people makes someone “loose.” Hearing about how vaginas should or should not be “loose” or “tight” can be stressful and be a source of insecurity for anyone with a vagina, which is totally valid! However, contrary to popular belief, the elasticity of a vagina is not affected by how much “action” it has had!

Vaginal Elasticity 101

The vagina is an extremely elastic and resilient muscle— after all, it is capable of expanding and retracting during birth. Similarly, the vagina adjusts during sexual activity. When someone is sexually aroused, their vagina releases natural lubrication and the vaginal tissue relaxes. This relaxation and lubrication helps to reduce/avoid pain, and makes penetration easier for all involved. Then after penetration is done, the person’s vagina will retract back to its normal resting state.

Feeling “Loose”

Vaginas can feel “loose” for a number of reasons, including:

Feeling “Tight”

On the flip side, vaginas can feel “tight” for a number of reasons, including:

Something to keep in mind with this type of stereotype is, tight for who? Generally, the myth is really rooted around the experience of people with penises, and what kind of pleasure they assume they’ll have based on the virginity or sexual inexperience of a partner with a vagina. This type of thinking is based in misogyny, sex-negativity, body-shaming, and slut-shaming. There isn’t a similar myth about people with penises, which definitely says something about our society.

For partners, there are options to explore if your bodies are too big/small for each other and things feel tighter/looser than desired. Sex toys are always a way to complement or enhance a sexual experience. Even for solo pleasure, people with vaginas may want to explore sex toys as a way to experience different types of sensations and penetrations.

Resources

Teen Health Source Pages

If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]

Last Updated: May 2022

  • Image relevant to mindfulness and sex

    How To Be More Present During Sex

    Do you ever find it hard to focus on sex? Whether with a partner or by yourself, do you find your mind drifting off? It’s very common! This post goes over some of the reasons why and what you can try to do about it.

  • Image relevant to sex-positivity during health scares

    Being Sex Positive During Pregnancy/STI Scares

    Sex negativity can make it hard to shake off the stress and worry of pregnancy or STIs after getting negative test results or reassuring information. So how do we try to be more sex positive in these situations? Let’s find out!

  • Text reads "5 Questions with Arti Mehta from the LGBTQ Youth Initiative." Below is a quote that reads "There are some things you can only understand if you've been through them." The background is green, and there's a picture of Arti.

    5 Questions with Arti, PPT’s LGBTQ Youth Initiative coordinator!

    We sat down with Arti, one of the coordinators for Planned Parenthood Toronto’s LGBTQ Youth Initiative, to talk about the initiative, how to run such a program, and supports for LGBTQ youth in the city. Check it out!