Penises: Troubles Getting and Keeping Erections

By Teen Health Source

Erections – they’re more complicated than we think!

Sometimes erections happen really easily, whether you feel turned on or not.

But sometimes it’s also really difficult to get or to keep an erection for as long as you want. When this gets in the way of engaging in your desired sex acts this can be known as Impotence or Erectile Dysfunction (ED). But those terms can be loaded with a lot of stigma, so we’ll avoid using them for most of this article.

Difficulty keeping erections is generally not a major health concern. That said, sometimes it can cause  lots of stress, which can impact your self-confidence, or how you feel about your body. If you are concerned about maintaining erections, then here is some info to get some perspective on the topic. 

Is it normal to have problems getting/keeping erections?

Yes! 100%. Our bodies are not machines that perform the same way every time when we want them to. It’s very normal to have moments or longer stretches of time where it’s harder to get an erection or to more difficult to keep an erection going for a particular activity. It’s totally normal. Even if it’s not something that’s happened to you or your partner before, it’s something that most people with penises go through at least once in their lives.

What causes difficulty in keeping erections? 

Mental Health

Mental Health can affect how your body behaves. Things like stress, anxiety, or depression can make it difficult for you to be in the moment when it comes to sex, and distract your body from maintaining an erection. It’s common that not getting an erection is a sign of nervousness, whether that’s with a new partner or someone you’ve known a long time. Our bodies can often behave in ways that reveal stuff we’re trying to hide or pretend we’re not feeling. It’s all super normal!

Sometimes being worried about losing an erection can make it more difficult for you to be in the moment or feeling pleasure during sex, and make it more likely that you’ll have a hard time keeping an erection. It’s a tough cycle!

Physical Health

Physical Health can also impact what your body does. Different medical conditions can affect things like blood flow or sex drive. This can include things like Diabetes, Chronic Liver or Kidney Disease, Hypertension, Cardiovascular Disease, Low Testosterone. Most of these conditions become more of an issue as people get older.

More generally, difficulties with erections can be a sign that your body is not up for that kind of physical activity. Maybe you’re tired, or dehydrated, or maybe your body is fighting off a cold or something – These are all things that can affect your body’s ability to perform as expected.

Refractory Periods

We get a lot of questions from people who are stressed about how soon they can get an erection again after they ejaculate. The time in between when you ejaculate and can get an erection again is called a Refractory Period. Everyone has a different refractory period, ranging from minutes to hours. It’s normal for a person’s refractory period to get longer and longer as they get older. Refractory Periods are totally normal! It’s a time of rest and relaxation for your body. It’s common that sometimes you think or feel like you want something (like to keep having sex after ejaculating), but that’s something you have to balance with the signs that your body is giving you. Having an orgasm and ejaculating takes physical energy, whether that’s solo or with a partner. Expecting your body to not want a break is like going for a long run and then going for another one as soon as you get home. Most people can’t do that.

Drugs, Alcohol, and Medications

Drugs, Alcohol, and Medications all can interact with your body differently, and can potentially cause both short- and long-term issues with maintaining erection. Being too drunk or too high are common times where your body may not maintain an erection.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. Issues with erections can be caused by just one of these factors or by a combination of them.

Diagnosing

Generally, a physical exam and a medical history are enough to identify if there is a medical reason for difficulty maintaining erections. This could include examining your penis, testicles, and blood pressure to look for nerve impulses and sensation issues. 

If there are concerns about underlying health conditions, clinicians can run additional tests or refer you to a specialist.

Can you get erections by yourself?

If you’re able to get and maintain erections on your own (like when masturbating) but have issues when engaging in sex acts with a partner, chances are that there is not an underlying medical condition. Often it can be a case of nervousness or performance anxiety (whether you’ve acknowledged it or not), or some physical discomfort in the act you are trying to do (position, physical exhaustion, dehydration, etc.). Sometimes people have issues using condoms, which can be a distraction when it comes to maintaining an erection. Most of these issues can be addressed by listening to your body.

Please check out Penises: Ways to Help Get and Maintain Erections for tools and strategies for working through difficulties with erections.

Resources

• Teen Health Source – Making Sex Feel Good
• Teen Health Source – How to Be More Present During Sex
• Mayo Clinic – Erectile Dysfunction
• Scarleteen – Why You Don’t Have To Get So Down About Not Getting It Up 

If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]

Last Updated: May 2021