Bleeding during sex or masturbation is not something to ignore. Usually, bleeding happens because of too much friction (as in not enough lubrication), being too rough, or infections like STIs. Blood is not a normal part of sex for most people with vaginas outside of the first time they have penetrative sex, and is not something that should just be pushed through or expected. Bleeding and pain do not have to be part of your sexual experience, so let’s talk about some reasons why it might be happening.
In the context of sex, friction is when two body parts rub against each other. A little friction with proper lubrication can feel good, a lot of friction where things are feeling dry or uncomfortable can actually cause injuries.
For vaginal sex, foreplay and lube can help make things more comfortable. Vaginas are self-lubricating, but not everyone can immediately get wet right before they have sex. Some people need more stimulation, or may need to feel more comfortable and turned on to get wet. Trying to push through dryness can result in small tears in vaginal tissue which can cause bleeding, pain, and make you more prone to sexually transmitted infections.
For anal sex, lubrication is almost always required. The anus is not self-lubricating, and while there may be fluid present in the anus like mucus, it’s not the same sort of fluid present in a vagina. Anal sex without proper lubrication can, like vaginal sex, result in small tears called fissures, which can take a while to heal given how tricky it can be to keep that area clean and dry.
Remember you can basically never use too much lube, and pain is not something you should ever feel like you have to push through to get sex to feel good. If things are uncomfortable, your partner should make you feel like it’s okay to tell them it’s not feeling good, and you should never be made to feel guilty because of how your body is responding to sex in that moment.
Bleeding during sex can also be caused by certain sexually transmitted infections. However it’s important to remember that just because you’re bleeding doesn’t mean you absolutely have an STI, and just because you’re not bleeding doesn’t mean you don’t. The only way to know for sure if you have an STI is to get tested. Still, let’s talk about some STIs or other infections that may cause bleeding:
Hormones regulate menstrual bleeding, and certain medications such as birth control pills or implants can change those hormones and cause you to bleed outside of your period. Depending on the type and brand, bleeding during your period may be heavier while your body adjusts to birth control. Some people experience spotting for longer periods. If you’re worried that your birth control is causing you to bleed too much, consult with your doctor.
Douches are not useful or necessary for vaginas. Vaginas are self-cleaning, and have a delicate pH balance that can be disrupted by so-called cleaning products or anti-septic washes. Douching your vagina can cause infections like bacterial vaginosis and may increase the chances of yeast infections too. They can also contribute to dryness which can in turn lead to tears and bleeding.
Anal douching is not directly harmful, but it can be pretty easy to overdo it. Douching too deep or too often can strip the anus and rectum of helpful bacteria and mucus, leading to irritation and an increased chance of tearing. While it is quite common for anal sex to avoid messier situations, you may want to think about how often you’re doing it or for how long.
Thankfully, there are lots of options to make sure you don’t bleed during or after sex!
For anal sex, try to drink lots of water and stay hydrated, and eat fiber rich foods to prevent constipation and reduce the need to douche as often. Remember to use lots of lube and go slow if you need to!
For vaginal sex, avoid douching and cleaning your vagina with soap. You can always stop during sex if things are feeling uncomfortable or painful, and use lube if you need to.
You should never feel pressured to endure pain just so your partner can finish, or so they can avoid “blue balls.” It’s never that serious, and if you’re finding you have to negotiate your own comfort in a sexual relationship you may want to think about choosing another partner. There are lots of myths around how sex is always painful the first few times until you get used to it, but that just isn’t true! You deserve to have sex that is pleasurable, comfortable, and consensual.
If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]
Last Edited: April 2026
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