Sometimes, sex is a lot of hassle; it can require a lot of preparation, energy, and extensive communication. From missing condoms to differing preferences to losing erections or someone coming home early, there’s lots of things that can get in the way of you actually having sex. And while it may be disappointing to miss out on the potential pleasures and excitements of sex, there are so many other activities you could do with your respective partner(s) now that you’ve got all this free time! So, without further ado, here are some exciting alternatives to having sex:
If you’re still feeling handsy and want to do something more tactile, making paper airplanes is a great way to relieve all the sexual tension you’ve built up. These nifty creations can come in all sorts of colours, shapes, and sizes, giving you that similar sense of delight that comes with the wide variety of sex acts and forms. From folding it to making it glide across the room, you’ll get all the satisfaction of achieving orgasm, but by achieving lift-off!
There’s a whole world outside of the bedroom – and it’s definitely one worth exploring! Going for a walk with your partner(s) gives you ample time to explore somewhere new, have a nice chat, and get some fresh air. Going a few blocks on foot is a great way to get some energy out and clear your mind, especially when you’re sharing time with someone you appreciate being with. (Note: You may want to get dressed for this one.)
Even though your partner may be a snacc in the sack, doing a little baking is an amazing activity that can be done together. Just like having sex, baking requires patience, the ability to consider one’s individual needs and preferences, and open communication. Effectively, the only difference is that you get a delicious treat in the end.
Taking a language class with your partner allows you to build a new skill together and to appreciate one another’s abilities. In fact, if you’re up for it, it may even be an excuse to travel! As a plus, even if you’re not having sex right there in the moment, you can save all of the language’s dirty words for later.
Whether you use bricks, cardboard, or simply just spare paper, adding a splash of colour to your favourite random material or object is a quirky way of creating something of your own without the pressure of it looking perfect (I mean, have you seen a pet rock?). After a quick trip to your local dumpster for inspiration and supplies, trying using a few pens, stencils, or stickers to create unique art! Regardless as to whether you’re creating a masterpiece or just gluing some grass on a piece of leftover sandpaper, whatever you make is likely going to last longer than an orgasm ever could.
Beyond this list, there are so many other things to do if sex doesn’t work out. Talking about how to better prepare for next time can help, but so can doing lots of non-sexual activities just to get your minds focused on something else. You can still have a great time together! Sex is great, but it’s not necessarily the best or only thing you can do with another person.
If you have questions about this topic, feel free to contact one of our peer educators. [Link]
Last Updated: April 2020
Women’s Health In Women’s Hands (WHIWH) is a Community Health Centre for racialized women living in Toronto and the GTA!
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